The Fall of Glory
by TheNightIsFading
Summary: Xaphania's life story, from the time she is a young princess, through her rise and fall, and to where she has landed. Please review!


**Author's note** Here is the newest story from KirjavaLyra! Aren't you excited? I don't own Xaphania or Will or Lyra. I own every other character in this chapter.

**Summary** Xaphania's life story, told in her own words.

**The Fall of Glory **

Now and then, again and again, more now than before, and quite often, I find myself growing lonely and bored, and memories drift into my head. I am only able to distract myself from them for limited periods. I find the end of me coming nearer and nearer, and I feel ready for it. I accept the certainty.

Still, the memories come, hard and sharp and overwhelming, and cold silver tears spill from my cold silver eyes. I wasn't always so angelic... I was a human... Those now-cold eyes were once bright with light and ambition and hope... I was a lot like Lyra Silvertongue. She probably hates me now, but one day she will thank me.

I only wish there had been an angel to prevent my life from turning out the way it did.

Yes, I am an angel. As most would say, and angel of God. It is true, but in a different way.

Now I write down my story. Only the second book written by an angel, written not so that you know about being an angel, but about making mistakes.

And so that someday, I may deliver this to Lyra Silvertongue-Belacqua, and William Parry, and they will understand what I have tried to save them from. Perhaps it will ease their pains. I know that the pain will always remain inside of them...

She had heard the story a million time; she had been born five years ago with her twin sister, in the purple room in the palace; the birthing room for all of the royal children. She was the oldest; her sister being born three minutes later. Her father had fainted, and his God had come into his body to declare that the first-born daughter would one day be Empress, and rule over all the lands. It never grew old, as many fairy tales did after awhile.

She and her sister wanted to hear it all the time, and asked questions until their mother and nurse were exhausted. The Emperor only knew what others had told him later, and was of no help.

"Where did I get my name?" the older twin would ask, looking imploringly up at the nurse until the poor gullible slave gave in.

"Have not I told you many times, Princess? The God, Alexius had two daughters, and while he possessed the Emperor, he asked that you each be named after one of them. Xaphania was the older twin, and she betrayed her sister horribly when they grew older, and it destroyed them both, because of your younger sister, Maria, who has yet to be born. Alexandria, you are the betrayed. Alexandria, in the myths, dies, and Xaphania becomes an awful, horrible queen, who destroys her world."

Xaphania would giggle and put her hand over her mouth as a princess should. "I would never betray you, Alexandria."

"Nor I you, Sister," the other girl replied.

"Now of course not!" the nurse would tut. "Now off to bed with you!"

The princesses would climb into the bed they shared, with the dignity required of a five year old royal child. Then, one would whisper to the other, and one would ask, "And where do babies come from?"

There was never an answer.

Right before Xaphania and Alexandria turned six years old, they were called to the throne room to receive an audience with the Emperor and Empress, and their five-year-old brother. Their nurses took special care to make them look nice, and at the appointed time, walked them to the throne room, leaving them next to the guards outside, and then following behind them.

Xaphania always walked in first, as the future Empress, with Alexandria behind her, and Alexius behind her. She counted the purple tiles laid across the floor, and looked up when she reached the line around the thrones where the tiles turned black, she bowed to her father, then to her mother, then walking to her appointed place between the thrones. Her siblings joined her.

"I present to you her Imperial Majesty, Xaphania, Princess Alexandria, and my son Alexius," their father said, his voice booming across the room as the courtiers bowed low to them.

Xaphania smoothed the folds of her long royal blue dress, and knew that they all must be awestruck by her beauty, She was used to being showered with compliments, not realizing that most of the men who spoke with her father just wanted his favor, and took no interest at all in either of the princesses.

These men were different. They spoke a strange dialect, with only one English speaker to translate. Xaphania held her brother and sister's hands and looked at them. They knew no more than she did. They were probably from another kingdom, somewhere off in the North or West, where the people were still primitive and spoke Barbaric languages laced with hacking sounds and words lacking vowels.

One gestured towards Xaphania, who gasped. No one except for her siblings and cousins and a few of her caretakers had ever pointed at her. Was it allowed? She felt Alexandria tense next to her. Emperor Nicolos seemed not to have noticed the obviously rude manners of these people.

The man spoke, and the translator asked, "Did we hear you suggest that this girl will one day be ruling this Empire?"

Xaphania's father said something back, but the girl had been offended by the tone of disbelief in the man's voice.

"And not the boy?"

The Emperor's sister had been standing off to the side, stepped forward, and said, "You dare to suggest that a woman cannot rule? I do not pretend to know or care why you Barbarians decide on rulers the way you do, but here the ruler can choose whomever he or she wants to rule, royal or not."

"Translate just the last part," Empress Mikaela said sternly, but her eyes smiled at her childhood friend, although their mouths were not visible through their veils.

Alexandria appeared to be stifling a giggle.

"In our land, it is the first-born male son who rules, or the next closet male relative. A female is the last resort."

"Oh?" Aunt Veronique retorted. "Are women not just as capable as men?"

She was silenced by a look from the emperor. "It is their custom," he told her. They also appeared to be taken aback by the fact that the woman spoke so freely.

Xaphania soon lost track of the conversation, as it turned to politics, so she looked up at her mother, who she had not seen for months. Mikaela Veberle looked worn and tired, and Xaphania wasn't sure if it was true, but she looked paler. If this hadn't been a special occasion, she would have run up to her mother and hugged her. As Xaphania looked, her mother reached down, smiling, and patted her on the head.

The children began to shift uncomfortably after another half hour. Surely it wasn't important that they be there! Alexandria didn't look as upset as Alexius did, but Xaphania knew they were all bored. Even children with royal upbringing couldn't be still and polite and smiling for very long.

Eventually, Xaphania grew hot and began to pout. She sighed loudly, and some of the men laughed.

Emperor Nicolos laughed also, and said, "I had forgotten all about my children. They seem to be growing bored. And you may leave soon enough, but there is first something I must show you." He waved his hand in the air, and a maid walked in, pushing a cradle.

The twins gaped at each other in shock. Another baby had been born!? Perhaps that was why their mother had been gone for so long!

She wasn't able to help herself; she ran up to the cradle and looked inside. She couldn't tell if it was a boy or a girl, and she didn't care. She didn't want it. The baby stared up at her with blue eyes. No one in the family had blue eyes. Xaphania poked at the baby's cheek, and it turned redder. She reached to poke it again, but Alexius grabbed her hand.

"Be gentle," he said in his little voice. She hugged him, while Alexandria looked into the cradle.

The Empress spoke for the first time, gesturing elegantly towards the cradle. "To you, I introduce, and to all the world, the Princess Maria-Koreen."

The foreign men soon gathered around to see the baby, and the other children backed off. Alexandria grasped Xaphania's hand. "Maria..." she whispered.

The Emperor winked at his children and waved them off.

Even now, those memories are bright within my mind, or whatever it is that allows me to think, technically without a body to house a brain. In the world that I lived in, the mind exists separate from the body, but there was no way ever to prove these theories.

Yes, I lead a very privileged life. I will admit that I knew how the world was, but politics and such never concerned me as a child. I never cared. Certainly I knew that one day I would rule the empire, but rather than learn about the world, I used that fact to pull myself above my playmates.

So long ago... And even now, I have regrets.

**Author's note** So…how do you like it? I'll try to update soon, but first I want to know if you liked it. And tell me if I misspelled anything.


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